Real Housewives of Beverly Hills: Diva Las Vegas

As much as I’m happy that Beverly Hills is back, I do find it goofy they dropped it 6 days before Christmas.  This week seems lost in the midst of ribbons, Stockings and hangovers. So episode 2 dropped on December 26.  For all of those that return to regular life the day after Christmas, I feel for you.  In Canada, it is still a holiday known as Boxing Day (yes, we get a holiday to pack up all of our decorations). There are a few traditions that come along with this holiday:

1: Sleeping in (only way to battle a hangover)

2: Leftovers (turkey sandwich anyone?)

3: Open houses (think of traipsing from one friends house to the next full of drinks & appies).

4: Shopping (we have black Friday level shopping the day after xmas.  You get way more bang for your gift cards!)

5: World Jr Hockey Tournament (which is taking place in Buffalo NY this year)

Because we get a National Holiday 2 days in a row, it throws the entire week off and a lot of us just take off the week between Christmas & New Years.  Some of us are not that lucky.  I guess I’m begging for forgiveness on lagging on #RHOBH recap slowness.  I see others get them up that night. I’m not that lucky.  Boxing day for me is the laziest day of the year!

While I am loving this season, I wouldn’t call it drama ridden.  I can’t take my eyes off the show but for entirely different reasons.

The entire show takes place in Vegas this week so we were doused with money, wardrobe changes, gambling and drinking.   There were a few things that really stuck out for me, one being that I feel that Erika is really trying hard to make her wardrobe a story line.  It is the only reason that I can think of as to why she wore a dominatrix outfit.  Basically the operative idea in the former sentence is trying hard.  Erika is becoming a try hard for me.  I don’t subscribe to the notion of just because you can, you should.  She wore an outfit the next day for the ferris wheel where she looked quite beautiful and elegant. This….. was…. no.

When the show picks up, all of the ladies are meeting up in Kyle’s presidential room including Adrienne Maloof.  You remember her… or you don’t because none of us know what she is doing to her face.  Seems divorcing Paul proved to be detrimental to her plastic surgery routine.

Do you like Kyle?  I wouldn’t trust her as far as her hair would hang.  She really loves being the centre of attention and really loves thinking that she is the queen of the group.  She has Lisa V on her squad again, her sister bumped off the show and both Camille and Adrienne reduced to friends of cast members.  The woman’s ego is flying high.

They all gather & head to dinner.  Dorit is reminding us that she doesn’t like Lisa R which brings me to the second thing that sticks out to me.  Her boobs.  I was completely distracted by her the entire episode due to her boobs. Wait, and her hair.  When we saw that she travels with her make up team that trims her hair daily, I became very aware of her hairline.  It seems so harsh to me that it makes her accent less contrived.

Dorit introduces Teddi Jo to the group announcing her dad is John Mellencamp.  Teddy is rightly embarrassed even though we all know the women already had an idea.  She then tells us she is an Accountability Coach.

OK.. People pay for this?  I have friends.  They do the exact same thing as Teddi does and I don’t have to pay them.   However, her fitness level has inspired me to get my ass in gear this year.

After dinner, the hags ladies head to Tao for some dancing.  I am assuming 2 things.  They went there because they were staying in the Venetian and that Tao needs publicity directed at middle aged women who love reality shows.

I’m sounding very mean this blog but would these ladies head to a club without cameras there?  I can not picture Lisa V at a club. EVER. Nevermind a tired place that has seen better days.

I have been to Tao (years ago now).   It wasn’t bad but it wasn’t my favourite. It definitely is better in the VIP area but my liking that is because I don’t have people stepping on me every given minute and there are way less 21 year old hookers girls dancing about me.

The club has naked (or seemingly naked), women dancing in bathtubs perched in the air. My friend found out there are bathtubs on the ground too when she fell face first into one of them. Totally drenched, she shrugged it off & danced all night but to my earlier point about better clubs, this was 7 years ago.  In a vegas life span, this is old school which is probably why they had housewives there.

If they wanted to sell this scene to me, I would have loved to had seen a disheveled Lisa V doing the walk of shame to her room around 4am.  I would pay money to see her with messed hair, smudged make up, carrying her heels in one hand blitzed out of her mind.  Someone make this happen… please.

The next day, Adrienne is gone from the group and they group off for various Vegas Adventures.  Teddi, Erika and Dorit gamble.  The other ladies hit the pool.  After bragging how much money Erika has to blow on the roulette, Teddi wins 800 and calls it a day.  Clearly she is more on the level of the OC ladies then the Beverly Hills ladies but after a season or 2, she will roll with the best of them.

We then switch it up. Teddi heads to the pool and Lisa V joins the blondsie twins for some shopping.  It is here where we see that Lisa V has been hanging around her restaurant staff too much because she whines about the way Erika responds to her text messages.  Turns out, Erika answers Lisa V every time but it is too abrupt.

If someone said that to me, I would wonder what grade she was in, and move on.  I did relate to Erika when she reminded us that women like to be fluffed with their text messages.  You need to write xox & sweetie & Okies vs ok or a thumbs up. I find all of that so exhausting but this is my laziest week of the year so it could be just the never ending rain outside my window tainting my mood.

The two groups have a costume change and meet later in the day to ride the vegas ferris wheel.  Kyle reminds us that she is a drama queen and freaks out about getting on the wheel.  This wheel can be seen literally everywhere and at no point does it seem to move.  This is because it is moving at a snails pace so riders can get awe inspiring views of Vegas. So what I’m wondering is, at one point, did she think this was going to be a hell raising ride? She thankfully called herself out.

This is what I want to know: Does every Ferris Pod have a bar or was that just for the ladies.  If so, I want to ride.  It really shouldn’t surprise me that an attraction in Vegas is mixed with alcohol but I assumed this was family friendly.

The ladies ride, drink and have a love fest.  Dorit and her boobs confront Lisa R and they make up… for now.  Then Kyle takes the opportunity to confront Lisa R about Harry’s conversation in the forest.  If we all can recall, Kim gave Lisa R back the bunny. This created one single tear to trickle down Lisa’s cheek.

Naturally, when Kyle bumps into Harry Hamlin (need to pronounce the full name much like Lisa), he poses the question “what are we going to do about Kim?”

My answer right then would have been: nothing but she isn’t my sister.  Never to be without a story line that throws Kim under the bus, Kyle carried it forward to this season and has a chat with Lisa which I never understood.  Did she want Harry to back off? Did she want to do something about Kim? Did she just want attention?  I don’t know but everyone became very cumbaya or had just enough gin to like one another & without a costume change, they head to dinner sans Kyle.

Turns out, Kyle has to leave early to go home so she can pack up her family for their European vacation.  Who am I kidding? We heard about this, all episode.  Kyle vacations for 3 weeks to Europe with her family and they cruise on the Mediterranean.  I will admit I’m green with envy as that would be quite fabulous.  She joins the ladies after changing into her ‘casual clothes’ to bid farewell.

During drinks, the ladies try to learn a little more about Teddi and by that they want to ask questions about her father.  Instead, we learn that Erika never knew her father.  I don’t know if that was an information bomb or not. We all assumed she married Tom Girardi because she had father issues. She fights this assumption stating Tom is way older then her father.

Fine, you have Grandpa issues.

We end the show with Teddi wondering what is Erika’s schtick.  She thinks Erika comes off as a ‘cool girl’ but I think Erika came off a little drunk. It’s the only explanation I have for her opening up the way she did.  However, the previews show us that she will later explore her relationship with her father so everything was actually calculated.

What did you think?  Let me know on Twitter!

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