I read a great tweet tonight: I have to sit through the RHOC to get to the RHOD and that statement has never been more true…. Last year this show made me poke my eyes out. This year it is the show that keeps on giving. Even as devisive as Kameron can be, the additions of her and D’Andra was perfection. It gave us the tension we required, a hot husband and much needed personalities and by that I mean D’Andra’s Mother, Dee.
I listen to a brilliant podcast called : Bitch Sesh and they will imitate Dee (amongst other housewives) but OMG. No truer words have been spoken “I don’t mind being 76 but I don’t want to look 76”.. Amen sister. I don’t really want to look 42 either. (this will be officially the last time I truthfully quote my own age ever again.. )
However, this year has just taken on such a better life. I don’t know if is that there is less focus on the Charity World or what but I do look forward to this show. Last thing I want to point out, on this show, the husbands for the most part take a back seat. I am not watching real families of Dallas.. it is the housewives. I want to see them. Stay away Diko!
Ok… so let’s recap. I will have a ton of opinions regardless so I may as well tie it into some plot. We start off the show with the ladies resuming their normal lives after Mexico. Everyone is home, playing with their children and happy to see them again. Brandi’s kids remind me of something & i can’t quite put my finger on it. It may be that they look so much alike that they could pass for twins and I am reminiscent of shows that cast troublemaking red headed children.. However, I do feel if I were to watch her children for an evening, they would return home to me bound and gagged in a chair. I think they have it in them. They lull you into a false sense of security with their cuteness but as you pick up a toy, they get you. I see it..their wiley. They will be running Dallas one day.
D’Andra takes a meeting with Dee and my god this woman wears an extraordinary amount of make up. D’Andra pointed out her mother’s face doesn’t move and god bless her. She approved the skin care acquisition so I see how the final party of the season will be pulled together.
We hop over toBrandi, we dive straight into her planning her holiday party. She has Brooklyn in tow who for some reason at the venue is carrying a blanket/sleeping bag & proceeds to hide herself in, on the floor in the middle of the room. That kind of behavior kills me but I don’t know why the girl came packing but then i was pretty sure I saw a scene with Brandi also holding her puppy. We also got a massive cleavage shot of Brandi. I will admit even I was distracted. I see how she made the cowboys. Brandi’s body is something to envy.
We then carry over to Leeanne getting an IV so she can be less hung over… OMG. yes, a banana bag but I have only ever seen this on Grey’s Anatomy. We find out later in the show that she is suffering an infection in her breast tissue which is of the flesh eating variety. She proceeds to phone Brandi to tell on Carey about how Carey no longer wishes to be friends with Brandi & Stephanie because of their behavior.
Can we finally put penisgate to bed already? (no pun intended). While I get that dildos are not everyone’s cup of tea, why are we freaking out to the extent we are? Kameron is acting like it is full of cooties and by touching it, her socialite status will be diminished. I don’t get this girl. On one hand she cracks me up with her prissy demeanour but then I started to realize she is not ironic she is lame. Loosen up Kameron! Diamonds only come from pressurized coal not your ass.
Nonetheless Brandi is starting to feel awkward about her friendship with Carey. I just exhaled a massive amount of air because on one hand, I feel like Carey is the most rational one of the ladies & could almost see myself being friends with her in real life. On the other hand, she is too normal for this show. I wonder if she was cajoled by her husband to appear on this show much in the same way as Heather Dubrow was to appear on RHOC. She too was above the drama. So we are going to have yet another face to face about who is friends with whom.
Speaking of Kameron, we see her visiting a dog food company and pushing forward with her pink dog food. I don’t choose my puppy’s food based on the colour. Not that I’m not insane but I choose it based on how processed the food is. I try to get top of the line for him based on the nutrition much like I try to with what I eat (takes slice of pizza) but I get it, she loves her dog, & they had to give her a project to do because I am guessing this woman primarily lunches and shops.
Before we get to the party, we see D’Andra packing with her hot husband for Croatia and they get a facetime from Keating. Bitch Sesh thinks he has a serial killer vibe to him. I know people that are like him. I don’t see serial killer but I do see non existent personality. They are literally even tempered all the time. They have to use adjectives to describe their feelings because their face only gives off blank and that is how I see Keating. He also comes off as smug because I have a feeling he thinks D’Andra is ridiculous. When she wanted to hire him to sell off her dresses, I think that was what pushed him over the edge to flee the state.. not just the house but the State. He is now very content working at a Verizon. Way to aim high Keating.
We follow Leeanne to her doctor for the flesh eating diagnosis and then it is off to party time.
I will give LeeAnne credit, chick does not want to miss any camera time. I heard a podcast recently on Juicy Scoop by Heather McDonald. She was interviewing Stephanie who pointed out that LeeAnne has been on other area reality shows & one thing she is good at is bringing the drama. I agree with that. I mean we are watching them do things. If we were to sit and watch them be content with their families, we would change the channel. However, I do find her over the top from time to time.
Except right after I was wondering why we were listening to Kameron bitch & moan about the plastic cups, LeeAnne broke her glass and Kameron so aptly interjects “this is why we have plastic” The timing on that one was great ..good set up Bravo.
Thing is.. why did she have to break a glass? I mean, Teresa is a table flipper, Vicky is hyena screecher and Dorinda is the ‘clip’ girl, does LeeAnne need to be the mentally unstable one? I mean, I have the same name couldn’t we be the dignified ones?
She does own what she says and very confidently but as Carey was rolling her eyes and being overly dramatic about LeeAnne, there was literally no pause before the smash and chaos. I get it.. you were a carnie kid but now we are living a carnie show. Stephanie is trying to hold strong & believe in her friendship with Carey while Brandi is throwing Carey under the bus and outing her affair with Mark. I fight with friends but I don’t out their most precious secrets.. not a cool move Brandi. That was low.
The show ends with Carey leaving and Kameron chasing after her because they arrived together and sneak peeks to next week look a little meh which is fine because they can’t all be gold.
I will leave it with this one note. I love this season. The more I watch this show, the more I wish I could know these ladies. Brandi drinks an inordinate amount of alcohol for her size like a boss, Stephanie would listen to all of my own sad drama and give me a hug. D’Andra would be the one to introduce me to people. Kameron would probably give me etiquette lessons (and better ones then the Countess as I doubt Kameron has ever told anyone to be cool) she just screams cotillian to me and I dig it. Carey would be my yoga buddy and LeeAnne… well, I don’t know about LeeAnne.. perhaps there is not enough room for both of our name sakes.
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