Real Housewives of Dallas: Season Premiere

Hi,

Until New York has finished its season, I will be posting Dallas on a delay.

I wanted to start today’s post off like a letter to a friend because that is how I feel about this show.  That there is an ease that I don’t get with the other franchises.  I don’t know specifically why that is.  Perhaps it is because the entire cast has returned and I’m invested in them or perhaps it is because they are only in season 3 and the storylines are still relatively fresh.

Regardless, another thing that I enjoyed that no other city has done is give us the season preview at the top of the show.  Yes, rather than bore us with a slow recap of last season, they kept it moving forward and gave us a glance of what was to come off the hop and you know what? It excited me.  I was like YES!  I can’t wait.  So let’s dig in!

Unlike the show, I do need reflect back to last season (they did give us some flashbacks as a way to jog our memories).  So when we left things at the season finale, there was a definitive line drawn.  Team A was Brandi, Stephanie & Carey and on Team B was D’Andra, LeeAnn and Carmen.  The rift belonged solely on LeeAnn’s shoulders as she had been uttering threats against Carey and well, that just ain’t plain cool.

This confrontation happened at LeeAnn’s brunch as she finally got engaged to her long-standing boyfriend, Rich.  As well, Brandi had been undergoing some fertility struggles in her pursuit to obtain a son to round out their ginger family.

What I’m gleaning from this show is that Season 2 was filmed a long long time ago.  I think that season 1 fell flat.  They filmed season 2. It was better but to attract more attention to the show, they aired it after the OC in hopes the audience will carry over.  This year, they are placed after New York but it is the tail end of NY and they will ultimately, have their own night.

The reason that is my hunch is that LeeAnn’s storyline appears to be that they have not set a wedding date and they have been engaged for a long time and as we saw it play out, it was the at the end of season 2 which ended only in November.  Anyways, we have that to look forward to this year.  LeeAnn slowly unravelling in front of her fiance and her fiance trying to find an exit.  She explained to us that he had been married 3x before and is a bit trigger shy but then why propose?  I have a year and a half engagement but that is due to financial reasons. If we had the cash, we would have done it this summer but life doesn’t always play out the way we would like it to.

Anyways, we didn’t start the show there. No, we started the show being introduced to Brandi’s newest addition: Bruin.

Yes, the entire family starts their names with the letter B.  Cute.  I have a soon to be family member who named their children with consecutive letters.   I mean, I get why you put some restrictions on names because it can be a daunting task.  If I ended up being so lucky to have had a child, Joe got to name the boy and I got domain over the girl. Our disagreement ensued because a name Joe picked out happened to be the name of my brother’s dog.

Anyways.

Brandi, unlucky with fertility, adopted a baby boy.  Now, I don’t want to dump on them finding a child to love this isn’t what I want to comment on.  What I’m commenting on is the jenky way they managed to acquire a child.  I don’t know if it is different from state to state but where I’m from it takes a hell of a long time to adopt a baby.  We not only have to go through an extensive background search but we have to also do counselling with social workers plus a 40 hour education workshop. and then you can maybe be considered to be put on a list. Stephanie, who used to be a social worker, knew a guy who knew a guy and bada bing, Brandi got her ginger boy.

For the sake of how easy that appeared, I’m going to assume there was some behind the scenes preparation that we were never privy to which fair enough. I’m happy for Brandi.  (I brought this up as there was some chatter on twitter about the very thing)

Speaking of Stephanie, she is someone we didn’t catch up with much this episode.  Aside from her wheeling & dealing in the family life of Brandi, we didn’t learn much about her.  We did get a chance to see her confessional look however and shit damn. The woman is hot!  I loved everything about it.   She did appear later in the show but I will come back to that.

After being introduced to Bruin, we see what steps LeeAnn is taking to achieve inner peace.  Perhaps it is the name but I too can fly off the handle in a way that can not be contained and when everything felt like it was falling apart, I too found meditation (I suck at it though).  Yes, LeeAnn has gone zen. She is meditating with a man named David Sunshine no less. She is trying to gain control of herself and therefore her emotions.  Her ultimate goal is to choose how to react to situations.  Her anger has been a central theme for the last 2 seasons and if the previews tell us anything, it has not gone bye-bye forever.

Someone we do catch up with is Cameron, our favourite pink lady.  If you recall she launched a pink dog food that is being sold in boutique stores and on Amazon.  Her goal for this year is to find a distributor so she can go national with the product despite how much negativity her husband showers her.   Let the woman sell dog food Chord!! (or is it Cort? Either way, it is a rich person’s name you would find at a country club).

We skip over to D’Andra and her hot husband who are planning a lavish party to celebrate their 4th anniversary. Yes, 4 years.  They say that divorce is rampant in Dallas so 4 years may as well be a lifetime but let’s be honest, would they throw this party if the camera’s weren’t rolling?  I don’t think so either. However, I like that it isn’t a made up event so I’m game.

D’Andra is a little anxious.  Turns out she fights with her mother much like Loralei did with Emily from Gilmore Girls.  Dee may have handed the keys of the business to D’Andra but it was in ceremony only.  She still very much controls the empire and D’Andra is constantly fighting to prove her worth.  This is the stuff soap operas are made of. I tell you, I’m so fascinated.

D’Andra is not the only anxious person.  Also attending the party are all of the girls (minus Brandi which we will come back to). This weighs on LeeAnn.  She knows Carey HATES her and it can get pretty awkward pretty fast.

In light of the party coming up, LeeAnn thought it would be best to mend fences with Carey for the sake of D’Andra and the party.  So LeeAnn phoned Carey to meet for a coffee and because Carey is the most mature person on reality TV, she agreed to meet.

The coffee was drama free.  They agreed that they do not have to be friends but life would be much easier if they could be cordial at parties or events. LeeAnn pressed on and asked if Carey would ever be interested in meeting for drinks and Carey put her boundaries up.  Turns out Carey used to agree with whatever just to be polite but never mean it. This was LeeAnn’s biggest grief with her.  Now, Carey is going to be straight up and told LeeAnn that she is not there and doesn’t know if they will ever get there.  Cool.

However, this little time with Carey let us know that Mark was right, she couldn’t be a stay at home Mom.  I don’t know if it was a matter of her wanting to be a stay at home mom as much as it was that she no longer wanted to work side by side with her husband.  This I can appreciate.  As dynamics of a relationship shift, so can your tolerance.  Anyways, with a hefty investment from Mark, Carey opened a Laser Clinic and is happy setting her own hours and running her own show.

We finally get to the night of the party and is as every bit swank as you may think a Dallas socialite party would be.   Everyone is dressed to the nines and I was shocked to see Cameron wearing black of all things.  I was inspecting her closely to see if she had pink earrings on but no, the backs were red.  It is indeed a new year!

Dee arrived stoic as ever and by stoic I mean her face is hard as nails.  The woman has had so much work done that I don’t know if she can crack a smile.  I’m team D’Andra and until Mamma Dee relaxes, neither will I.  However, I may be the only one as all of the ladies were excited to see her.  You see,  everyone loves Mamma Dee.  Yes, she is a true southern bell in that no matter what issues lay behind the scenes, she will always put on a smile and never let them see her sweat.  If I could wish a dinner party, I would want to see her, Patricia Altschul, Lisa Vanderpump, D’Andra and Katherine Dennis, Erica Jayne and Dorinda.  (oh gawd, now that I write this, I want to throw Brandi Glanville in there too just so I could see stifled ire come out of their expressionless faces).

All of the ladies were invited.  All came but Brandi who apparently is upset with D’Andra this year.  I guess in the offseason, D’Andra ran her mouth and couldn’t help herself and said publicly that Brandi had squinty eyes.

I can see how Brandi would be offended by that (btw, they can look squinty when she smiles but so do a lot of people) but is it a reason to NOT attend a party?  I mean LeeAnn threatened Carey and you drove her home from the hospital.  There was a preview of next week of her arriving at the party and asking to speak with D’Andra privately.  Again, is this the time & place to have the conversation?  Couldn’t this happen over email?  I wonder what Carey would do?

The party started with a casual cocktail hour and right before it was announced to sit down to dinner, production did manage to overhear Dee complaining that she was bored.  Yes, D’Andra’s mother is viscious and thank you production for allowing us that shady as fck moment.

As mentioned, there was a sit-down dinner which held Stephanie’s greatest fear.  She was seated next to her bestie’s nemesis, LeeAnn.  Stephanie never had any real beef with LeeAnn herself but out of loyalty to Brandi and Carey, she never got close to LeeAnn.  D’Andra, in effort to be a puppet master, thought if Stephanie and LeeAnn got to spend some time alone, they may learn that they like one another.

As in the words of the great Kenny Rogers “It could have been the whisky.  It might have been the gin” or in Stephanie’s case, was definitely the wine. I think Stephanie could get along with a plant but when LeeAnn isn’t feeling threatened, she is a bit of a hoot and it appeared the ladies were having a great time.  So perhaps a burgeoning friendship has happened.

The show didn’t end on a love fest. Rather, D’Andra furthered her pupateering and put LeeAnn and Rich on the spot.  She announced in front of everyone that she would be marrying off the 2 that evening in front of everyone.  LeeAnn who looked so full of love was contrasted drastically with the fallen face of Rich.  Seriously, he had the face of a man who would chew off his own leg to get away from her. She laughed off the event in embarrassment and it won’t be until next week to see how this attempted stunt plays out. Turns out being engaged a year and not setting a date is starting to raise some eyebrows including from D’Andra who stated in the confessional that when people drag their feet to wed that there may be bigger issues going on.

Let me give my 2 cents.

I don’t think Rich had ever planned on proposing to LeeAnn and that stunt at the carnival was staged for the cameras.

Boom.

As mentioned, this will be the central focus for LeeAnn this year.  Next week, the party continues.

It will be interesting to see how the season plays out as our cool as a cucumber D’Andra is shown to have some firey moments this year and in particular with LeeAnn.

Until then… find me on Twittter!

 

 

 

 

 

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