Real Housewives of New Jersey: Fauxpology

Again, sorry I skipped last week.  I hosted a party at my place that evening & I just was never able to get ahead of the curve on things so thought to bite the bullet and just skip it.  However, what we missed was the ladies travelled to Milan.  Melissa showed us how simple she was and how tacky Danielle is.  Melissa is screaming into the Italian air speaking Spanish and Danielle went full Jersey on Siggy when Siggy tried to dismiss her  Like Teresa said, “I called her a Prostitution Whore and I never saw Danielle this upset”.  We all have our triggers. Mine is being told to ‘calm down’.  I do operate a little more high strung then others but when someone tells me to calm down, I feel the same way Danielle did there: Dismissed and patronized.  I will, every time, do the exact opposite and lose my flipping mind.

Anyways, the whole reason we got to to epic levels of screeching was because after spending the first day separately paired up, the 6 of them met for dinner. Siggy decides to take the opportunity to tell Margaret that, not only did she not like the Hitler reference, but she thinks Margaret is antis-emetic.

Margaret is definitely culturally insensitive.  If she is antis-emetic, I don’t know.  I think she pulled out the most hurtful reference she could think of and it was lame, cheap and stupid.   Needless to say, Margaret is offended and so Danielle chimes in to which Siggy shuts her down.  All that did was fire up Danielle and she lost her mind.  No one got as far as ordering dinner never mind eating.  The next day, Siggy meets with Danielle to apologize and they for the time being make up.  At least enough to share scenes together.  We end the episode with Siggy talking to her husband who pleads with her to come home mainly because he never sees her.

So let’s pick up where we left off.

So Melissa meets up with Danielle and Siggy to go on a bike tour.  The rest of the ladies meet up with a local chef, Alberto, to buy fresh ‘ingredients’s’ and cook a dinner for the group.  Teresa is hoping that food will heal all wounds.  I love Italian food and I love even more the food in Italy.  It is fresh, it doesn’t use preservatives…. Only place where I ate pasta every day & managed to lose weight.  After putting their eggs into bags, the ladies head to Umberto’s for cooking

Melissa meets up with the tour guide and shamelessly flirts with him.  I have never seen 2 people look more uncomfortable. When Siggy and Danielle show up, they are already half a bottle in and packed some road pop for the ride.  One thing I will say about Siggy is that she does know how to have fun.  She lets us know she will stay in Italy for filming, for the people she loves and makes the most of her day.

We are flipping back & forth between the 2 groups.  While we watch the ladies make fresh pasta, We learn that Teresa is curiously strong.  While she was chopping up beef, she cut up the board too, grinding up bits of wood into the chopped beef.  Turns out that yoga can toughen a bitch up.

The bikers ride a block and decide it is time for a drink.  Siggy lets us know that there is only person that she has ever fought with and that is Margaret.  I love when someone says that because I will call bullshit every single time.  From what I have seen, Siggy appears to be high maintenance and so maybe people don’t fight with her but do they bother with her?  However, Siggy explains to the ladies the crux of her issue with Margaret and in fairness, Siggy does have a right to be offended by what Margaret said.  They try and counsel her as to how to approach her but I think we all know there is no way this will go well.  Margaret and Siggy have such a hate on for each other on Twitter that I can only imagine this season will get worse.

So all of the ladies meet for dinner and Margaret is afraid to open her mouth.  The rest of the ladies are laughing about the night before and Margaret sits there silent.  Margaret apologizes to Siggy when she learns that Hitler is a trigger word.   Yea, so weird a Jewish person doesn’t like having his name used in reference to something.  I didn’t think it took a genius to figure that out.  I have been on Margaret’s side up to hear and now she is starting to lose me.  Siggy drinks her feelings and Danielle thanks Margaret for the heartfelt apology.

Let’s face it.  Siggy is done with Margaret and no matter how much Margaret will half try, Siggy wants no part of her.

By the way, we started filming this scene and Dolores had her hair in a bun.  She let her hair down & OH MY GOD… put it up! put it up!!

We head back to Jersey for a scene with Joe and Teresa’s girls.  He wants to plan something for Teresa’s birthday and they decide to plan a surprise party.

It is the last day in Milan and we have a montage of the ladies in their morning routines.  Dolores finally washes her hair. I have tried to write this sentence several times and just don’t know how to approach it so will just be matter of fact:

Margaret is sitting in the bath tub while a hotel worker pours her coffee.

I don’t think there is a big enough tip in the world where you would see me do that.  Yes, she is covered in bubbles (they are filming after all) but WHAT!?  Seriously, I am watching this show as I blog and I have stopped the tape to take in this moment.  I just…. can’t. I’m hoping she is wearing a bathing suit because if those bubbles dissipate, there is not enough wine in Italy to make that hotel worker forget what she may see.

Danielle joins Dolores and Siggy (who is brushing Dolores’s hair by the way), in their room and tries to counsel Siggy.  She offers up that it was a nice apology on Margaret’s part and points out that Siggy was dead in the eyes.  Siggy shrugs and says she is entitled to her opinion (and leaves out how no one else is).

Danielle and Margaret head to the shoe factory to check out how Margaret’s shoe line will be made.  Danielle reveals that she had phone sex the night before and I threw up in my mouth a little bit.

Danielle and Margaret gossip about Siggy.  Margaret believes she is in the right because she knows jewish people. One more stupid comment and I will be done with Margaret.   They arrive at the shoe factory with the pretense that Margaret will order shoes from them.  This ruse is nice and all but we all know that Margaret will not be ordering shoes from here and they will in fact be coming from China.  She tries to tell us that she sells her brand in department stores but there is a huge difference between Nordstrom’s and Target.

They finally tour the shoe factory and I thought because it is Margaret that this will be a tacky adventure. I was wrong, the factory creates high end shoes but because it is Margaret, she will not work with them.  Let’s be honest, she is going to get her shoes from China. She doesn’t sell high end products so who are we kidding here?

Siggy and Teresa are paired up sightseeing and they share a moment in a square. Their bond strengthens so they are able to dive into the past few weeks issues.  Siggy is holding strong to being called Soggy Flicker.  Everyone but Siggy thinks that it is not a big deal.  Teresa points out that she has been called an adulterer which carries more weight.  Siggy, the never ending narcissist will not let someone besmirch her name with a nick name that means nothing.

Dolores and Melissa are sightseeing together and through some conversation Dolores reveals she hasn’t really touched base with her boyfriend and doubts he cares. This is probably because you live with your ex and are emotionally unavailable.  I doubt that, if he is real, that this will last.   She reveals she likes her situation because Frank is in the house (until he finds something better).  It has never been more clear that she never got over Frank and is still in love with her.  It is too bad Frank is grossed out by her age and isn’t attracted to Dolores any longer.  For the first time, I am wondering if they are/have been sleeping together.  Further to that, I am now worried how hurt Dolores will be after Frank moves out.

The ladies meet for one last dinner and as soon as they sit down, does Siggy raise a glass to accept Margaret’s apology.  Margaret, not wanting to let things go, looks Siggy straight in the eye and asks if Siggy really feels she is antis-emetic.  Siggy confesses that she doesn’t know much about Margaret but doubts she is antis-emetic.  Margaret pushes the issue and points out that what Siggy accused can be career and relationship ending.

After some conversation, Margaret calls Siggy out on her making rules for herself and for everyone else.  Siggy continues to drink her way through Italy and chugs away at her glass to help drown out whatever Margaret is saying.

We end the episode with Margaret inviting everyone to her ‘Studio 54’ themed birthday and get a sneak peek of what is to come. I see that we don’t have an episode next week so I will be blogging Jersey in the new Year!!!!  See you then.

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