Real Housewives of New York: Every Mayflower has its Thorn

Welcome back to another fantastic week in New York! Let’s be honest, shall we?  Weren’t we all dying to see the moment when Luann confronted Ramona regarding her attending Tom’s party?  For me, there was nothing as important than that moment.  If I were one of their friends that couldn’t make it that weekend, I would be jumping around in my seat while I waited for all of the juicy details.

Are you just as excited as I am?

Luann is out of rehab and the ladies thought it would be comforting for her if they took her to a spa for the weekend before she really had to face her NYC life.

We start the episode off with Dorinda picking up Luann for the trip up to the spa and Luann lets us know her version of the infamous events.  She explains:

  1. That she never planned to go to the hotel but rather went to her friend’s place but because of the number of cats, Luann felt more comfortable getting a hotel room.
  2. She manages to meet up with a former beau at the hotel (I imagine another reason for the room).
  3. After several drinks, the 2 of them decide to continue the party back in her room.
  4. They got off on the wrong floor.
  5. As she was fumbling for her key (god forbid they look at the room number but then again, she was shit faced), they realized the room was open.  Turn down service was in effect.
  6. They barge in and begin their shimmy shimmy bang bang when security banged on the door.
  7. Turns out Housekeeping told on the happy couple and her beau ran off to get some help.
  8. Rather than chalk it up to a misunderstanding, Luann was belligerent and disrespectful and before you know it, she is being hauled out of the hotel.
  9. As we saw her arrest video, we are all privy to what happened from there.

Luann is owning the moment.  However, she isn’t really connecting the fact that the reason she spent the night in the drunk tank wasn’t that she went into the wrong room but because she was a drunk asshole. I’m sympathetic because I know of 2 people that have had similar experiences.  One was in university and after the pub night, he thought he was climbing in bed with his girlfriend but much like Luann had the wrong floor of the dorm. The other was a friend who I think also walked inot an apartment on the wrong floor but except for her, didn’t realize where she was until she woke in the morning.  Yes, oops.

So I will get real here.  I had an incident in Vegas many years ago one new years eve.  I too was saucy.  A girl pissed me off on the strip and so I tossed my beer at her (yes, I know.. heinous).  She came charging at me.  The police intervened.  They were polite about it.  They tapped us on our shoulders and asked us to come with them and you know what we did? Complied!

We were polite.  We did as we were told and we were let go….. and we were crying. My friend kept the voicemail I sent after I was let free (i obvs became separated from the group) and she played it over and over that weekend to torture me as she felt it necessary. My point, it is pretty hard to get arrested in a situation like this.

Anyways… the rest of the ladies are DYING to see Luann. They wonder if she will share, they wonder how Luann is doing.  Dorinda and Luann are first to arrive followed by Sonja and Bethenny.  When Bethenny asks if she can check int her room, Dorinda, forbids it as she feels it is fair if they wait for everyone to show up.  This irks Bethenny.  They are both very type A and controlling so when one tells the other what to do, it rubs them the wrong way.  Bethenny is trying to not ruffle feathers so she backs down and suggest she share a room with Sonja so that no one else fees slighted.  Sonja likes the company and everyone wins but not before Bethenny hands out gift bags. I was waiting for her to say there were some skinny girl items in there but they were actually nice.

As Bethenny checks into her room, Sonja reveals that she was invited to Tom’s new years’ party on his boat.  Luann rolls her eyes and can’t believe that both Sonja and Ramona were invited.  They stop Luann and inform her that Ramona was not invited.  Nope. Ramona tried to get invited and no one is shocked. The kicker was that Ramona was sending tets of love the entire time.

Before you know it, everyone is there and Luann repeats her arrest story.  Everyone is gobsmacked.  Ramona blinks her way through the story and shrugs it off.  Luann asks Ramona straight out what she did for new years.  Ramona reveals she was in Jupiter Florida but stopped her story there.  Luann would respect ramona more if she just fessed up. I hate that kind of shady shit too.

Dorinda dismisses them to get ready for dinner and what do you know? they arrive on time for the first time in Housewife history.  It seems every other franchise shows up 3 hours late for any meal.   The ladies were reflecting with one another as they dressed for dinner. Tinsley tried to be relevant by complaining that now her mug shot is being resurrected.  Carol told her to stop being competitive and that was the last we hear from Tinsley the rest of the night (yey!)

At dinner,  Luann is ready to find out what exactly happened over new years.  She asked Sonja directly if she got an invite to Tom’s party. She admits she did but she also revealed that she ignored the email.

I don’t know if Sonja is being loyal to Luann or she is over the whole Tom thing.  She has every right not to be seeing as Luann left with Harry after he gifted Sonja with a ring and Lu stole Tom from Sonja.  Sonja is a girls girl despite Luann can be offended all she wants but she ain’t no girl’s girl.

We finally get our opportunity to see Luann ask Ramona if Ramona begged for an invitation.  Ramona blinked at her and blamed the whole thing on her friend.  She stipulates that she was in Jupiter for new years to spend it with this nameless woman.

Ramona doubles down.  She explains that it was her friend that wanted to attend the infamous new year’s boat party (you know, where Luann and Tom got married).  So Ramona was bing a good friend (to the nameless woman not Luann) and texted Tom for an invite.

Ramona never ended up attending because the party was at capacity. That and I believe that Tom doesn’t like Ramona (they show a quick flashback to Tom disagreeing with how many times Ramona went out with him.  She says 5 or 6 and he says 1.  I believe Tom).

THEN… Ramona shrugs her shoulders and points out that she wasn’t invited to the wedding so she is calling a Spade a Spade.

Honestly?  Ramona is a monster.

Not only am I upset that Ramona is so callous but we learn that she listens to music while she has sex.  Specifically, we find out she likes the song Promises.. No Promises. Because I really needed to picture Ramona having sex when I hear that song.

This segued into all the Ladies informing us their sexual musical preferences.  Of course Sonja lets us know she is good to go no matter what.  Yes, we figured that out on our own Sonja.

The point though is that all of the ladies are shocked by Ramona’s behaviour. Everyone, that is,  but Ramona.  She says she always knew Tom was a dog but she accepts him so it should be fine.

If we were telling you this to your face, this is where I would take a dramatic pause just to let those words sink in.   I wouldn’t comment on them but rather, would more likely be deadpan and roll my eyes because what is there to say on this?  Ramona shows her true colours and we don’t need to read into it further.

Rather than make up, everyone kind of just finished eating as they were too exhausted to explain to Ramona what is wrong with her.

So after dinner, they went back to the spa and retired to their rooms.  We were then gifted with the Bethenny and Sonaj show.  I could watch these 2 hang out all night. They looked like they were having genuine fun.  In another room, Carol, Dorinda and Ramona continued to explain to Ramona why she is a shitty friend.  Ramona explains that Luann was with Tom for such an insignificant amount of time, that it shouldn’t matter.  It wasn’t like Aadma or John.  then Ramona furthers her self into a hole and lets them know she thinks that rehab didn’t have anything to do with Tom.

Like I said, Ramona is a monster.

However, during the Bethenny and Sonja show, we learn that Sonja gauges a friendship on whether you can discuss body functions.  While that is a sign of intimacy sure, I prefer to gauge a friendship on how much I laugh with you.

Luann is being the bigger person.  She feels sorry for Ramona which I think is the right emotion.  Honestly, it is sad & pathetic.  Clearly, Ramona doesn’t have much else going on her life.

The next day, everyone wakes refreshed. Luann is in jammies looking marvellous and in stark contrast to the last time she woke up with the group. Yes, we get a flashback of hungover Lu begging for a glass of water.

Before they hit their treatments, the ladies gather.  While remarking on Sonja’s slippers (you know, her new shoe line), Sonja reveals that the design is her family crest.

Dorinda then shits on Sonja.

Dorinda has been coming for Sonja all season.  In every interaction she is salty.   She takes offence to Sonja claiming this is her family because as Dorinda points out, Sonja is divorced.  Sonja lets us know not only does she have a daughter with her ex but she sits on a board with the family.

Her daughter likes the shoe and the family doesn’t have an issue so why does Dorinda?  It isn’t like Sonja has remarried and is still using the crest.  Her name is also still Morgan.  I can’t really see Sonja re-marrying either.  I think she is single forever.

Needless to say, Bethenny came to Sonja’s defence. Sonja is never strong with confrontation but Bethenny has a hard-on for Dorinda (it seems ever since Peurto Rico)

As Bethenny put it, who cares if she puts a deer on a shoe?

You would think the drama ended at dinner but no.  Luann is upset… again because of Ramona… again.

Ramona had taken a group photo at dinner and then posted it on Instagram.  Normally, this wouldn’t be a big deal but Luann hadn’t told anyone she left rehab so she had received a call from her publicist that morning wondering what was up.

Ramona sticks to her guns stating that all of the ladies looked lovely in the photo & didn’t understand her crime.

Whatever Ramona.  I guess the idea of privacy is lost on you.

Next week we are still at the spa and we dig a little deeper into the Instagram ramifications plus Dorinda comes for Sonja at Brunch… again. So buckle up!  Til then, find me on twitter!!


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