Real Housewives of New York: Reunion Part 1

I hate reunion shows.  There I said it.  Some of you wait all season for these episodes but honestly, I just… can’t.  I mean, I get why you like if you do.  For many of you, it is a day of reckoning but after I have watched it during the season, I’m done.  The fight has happened. They made up or broke up.  Unless there was something that happened between filming and the reunion, I can’t be bothered to talk about what I just viewed the week before.

There are  a couple of notable exceptions mind you. Kim returning Rinna’s baby bunny and Rinna squeaking out a single tear down her cheek comes to mind or Kenya bringing a blow horn with her to the couch.

This reunion is no different for me.  In fact, this reunion is almost worse and here is why.  First of all, Luann is missing due to the fact that she is in rehab and Luann is in rehab mainly because she is being sued by her children.  Secondly, they all came for Bethenny.

I’m by no means being a Bethenny apologist, but this reunion isn’t being filmed in good faith and recounting all their proud moments. Rather, they all have an agenda (minus Sonja) and are ready for a fight.  I don’t want to say it is sad because they all know what they are doing.  Rather, it is annoying. I’m already tired of the scream and even Andy has laid down an F-bomb.  What is even weirder, is watching Andy defend Bethenny against Ramona but I will get to that.

Not everything is shrouded in darkness.  My favourite moment of the reunion thus far is Ramona asking production if they can rearrange the seating!!!!

I mean, the seating arrangement is everything in the reunion shows.  We all know this. The seating arrangement is essentially Andy’s pecking order of importance with those deemed most interesting sitting closest to him or if you prefer to be politically correct, the ones with the strongest storylines sitting centre stage.  We never mix up the ladies either.  No!  The ladies sit on opposing couches in very definitive ‘teams’ if you will.

So when the ladies first sat down on the couches, the arrangement was flipped.  Bethenny was to Andy’s left and Carole to is right.  The problem is that when Ramona sat down, she noticed the bruise on her left cheek was noticeable on the monitor and requested to be on a different couch.  Why does Ramona have a bruise on her cheek?  This, we never find out.  The one thing I finally care about, they gloss over.

So to appease who we could argue is the craziest, production flipped the orders to Andy’s right we have: Bethenny, Sonja and Ramona.  To Andy’s Left, we have Carole, Dorinda, Tinsley.  No Luann.  Again, Luann is in rehab so we don’t get a Skype or even a statement from the Countess.  Truthfully, this is the only day of reckoning I would have wanted to see.  I still feel that Dorinda was out of line despite feeling insulted by Luann and I would love to watch the royal amazon shake some sense into her.

So now that we are seated, we get a good look at everyone.  We did see the ladies arriving or in various stages of hair & makeup but it was just that: various stages.  So now that they are seated and in their colour corresponding arrangments I want to say that Bethenny has the best Dress.  Sonja has the best hair  & overall look. Carole looks haggard (I don’t like her short hair).  Tinsley looks pinched and I prefer the gold dresses to the dark ones.  Lastly, I can’t believe Ramona is in her 60’s.  The one thing I always notice in the reunion shows is that the lighting is always a bit harsher and I notice every line, wrinkle and additional makeup.  Ramona looks.. the same.  She looks the same no matter what season it is!  I mean the woman does not age.

Dorinda is, of course, wearing Jovani.  I like the dress enough.  I like her hair with extensions but I do think she is wearing too much makeup.  I couldn’t quite see the bruise on Ramona’s cheek she was claiming she had (five bucks says that Ramona never had a bruise but rather she prefers to be filmed on a certain side). However, Dorinda’s cheek was so dark that it appeared as though she had bruising going on.

So the reunion starts off much like all the reunions.  Andy greets the ladies and then he digs into some follow up questions.  As soon as he begins does Carole’s iphone go off and in case you are wondering, it was also the moment she was fired from the show.   (kidding, not kidding).  If the season finale should have told you anything it is that Carole didn’t have any intentions of leaving the show.  If she changed her mind, it seemed to have happened during the reunion or since the reunion.  She lets us know that she is definitely not seeing Adam.  Great.  I didn’t care when you were together and I don’t care now.

We dig into the beginning of the season.  We recap the Halloween party and Luann’s culturally insensitive costume.  The ladies contend that she didn’t come in blackface.  That she really was just wearing bronzer that appeared a lot darker on camera. That may very well be but Andy pointed out that Diana Ross never wore her hair in an afro with the exception of 1 photo so really, it was just a bad costume. End of story.

We move to the next holiday being Christmas and we have to once again discuss the Nutcracker or as Dorinda feels: the cross she carries.  I don’t even understand the fight anymore.  Dorinda helped find the nutcracker? She asked someone to find it? Either way, Bethenny, albeit excited, never came out and truly thanked Dorinda to her face for her help.  However, after all of the back & forth, we never really understand Dorinda’s part in sourcing the nutcracker.  Even Dorinda doesn’t even know what she did anymore.  Next.

This is, however, where the ladies brough Andy to anger.  Bethenny was trying to tell her side of the Nutcracker story and everyone was screeching over her when Andy drops “I want to hear what the fck she is saying!” .  I never realized how much Andy cared about Christmas but in all the years, I have never heard him sound interested nevermind upset.  This is only the beginning of the Bethenny love fest not the end.

Andy then decides he is not up Bethenny’s ass enough so he digs right into all of her philanthropy work and we recap her relief efforts for Puerto Rico.  Again, this was admirable.  What wasn’t admirable was witnessing Dorinda’s shit show again.  If I wasn’t embarrassed the first time it aired, I would have been mortified the 2nd time around. Course Dorinda isn’t me and claims that she was fine.   I think Dorinda’s game plan coming into the reunion is to smile and put on a confident face because the girl ain’t showing one bit of remorse.  Andy asked ever so cautiously if Dorinda thinks she has a drinking problem and Dorinda shrugs her shoulders and asks So what? So what if I was drunk on camera.  She does stipulate that last fall, when this was filmed, she was feeling depressed due to empty nest syndrome but other than that, what else is going on with her?  Bethenny rolled her eyes at the comment and I rolled my eyes at Bethenny.

It is fair to say that Dorinda was going through a hard time but perhaps Bethenny doesn’t like people using that as an excuse for shitty behaviour.  It isn’t the first time Dorinda has become messy and we recap the time she accidentally stabbed her hand. Course, I don’t believe that Dorinda was only drunk when she did that.  People who are hammered don’t have the dexterity and would feel it.  High people on the other hand, probably don’t realize their hand is bleeding.  As I type this I recall at least 3 moments where my drunken ass hasn’t realized half of what I had done so maybe I will shut it.

What I won’t stop saying is that I’m over Dorinda.  I don’t like her.  I’m sorry I don’t!!  I’m over her catchphrases.  I’m over her quick to anger moments and I’m over her hate for Sonja. So we naturally segway into her fight with Luann and what Luann said to her that set off the chain of events.  Dorinda contends that she was not drunk when Luann said she was starting to turn.  Everyone on Bethenny’s couch rolled their eyes and disagreed under their breathes but loud enough for production to catch it.

This leaves us with Ramona and her skin care line or rather, Bethenny’s lack of support.  This had struck a chord with Ramona all season.  She famously yelled at Bethenny on the phone and she attacked Bethenny at the Cabaret after party.  (I use attack because Ramona is notorious for not letting another get a word in).

Her biggest beef is that she doesn’t believe that Bethenny is selfish and doesn’t support other women.  Bethenny finds this ludicrous and says that she doesn’t support Ramona because she treats her like shit.  To prove her point, production flashes back to the infamous walk Ramona and Bethenny had over the bridge where Ramona informs Bethenny she has no friends and will ultimately ruin her relationship with Jason because she is mean.  So, yea, there’s that.

Some roll their eyes & say that happened years ago.  I am going to argue that Bethenny never really liked Ramona.  I don’t know if I could. She is a spaz. To further her point, Bethenny reminds Ramona that she shit on her decision to buy a house on the highway in the Hamptons.  Ramona, of course, doesn’t waver.  She has the kind of self-confidence and delusion Trump has when he picks up his twitter. (Not getting political but can someone please take away his social media? I think his approval ratings would be higher if he just shut up).

Bethenny stoically states that she doesn’t attend parties for pretend products that we have lived through Tru Renewal, Tru Faith, a pinot grigio, a restaurant and believes these products are made up for filming.   I believe I dug into this last week and I can’t believe I forgot about the Pinot Grigio and the restaurant!   For seasons, all Ramona squawked about was her Pinot Grigio and we some heavy flirting between her and her restaurant partner.  Anyways, I may have forgotten about those 2 things because they were indeed fake but she is definitely selling Tru Renewal online through Amazon.   Ramona holds her own and admits that while there isn’t a full product yet, she is shopping her formula around which was enough for Bethenny to feel vindicated and for me to take Bethenny’s side once again.

You can’t call something a launch party that isn’t quite launched yet.  I don’t launch websites after thumbnails so why is this any different? Because Ramona needed some dedicated screen time.  However, this doesn’t matter to Ramona, Dorinda, Carole or Tinsley.  They all believe that product or not, Bethenny should support Ramona.  Ramona goes on a tirade explaining she was once a clothing buyer and by the time she was in her late 30’s had 1 million dollars. That she has worked hard for her money and Bethenny shouldn’ besmirch her name (Ok, I just really wanted to use besmirch in a sentence).  This softens Dorinda and Dorinda she agrees that while Bethenny may not come out and support fake launch parties, Bethenny has a knack of being there for her friends when they need someone most.  (ok, so is she a good friend or not?).  They show flashbacks of Bethenny holding Ramona bawling over the demise of her marriage and counselling Dorinda the day following her tirade against Luann AND counselling Dorinda on the plane in Puerto Rico.

I think the ladies are being hard on Bethenny because they don’t like what she has to say during confessionals. I think that is pretty much it. I mean, don’t they know her by now?  She hasn’t changed over the years.  She seems to get along with everyone when they are in the group. She seems to be a shoulder to cry on but when she does her confessionals uses her acerbic wit to cut everyone down.

Anyways, never to lose an argument, Ramona doubles down and brings up Bobby’s funeral. She thought it was tacky to bring cameras to the service. She contends that she didn’t film and Dorinda chimed in claiming she thought it was morbid.   First of all, the cameras were not in the service.  They were outside for a hug between Jill and Bethenny.  Secondly, both Dorinda and Ramona had filmed in a car en route to the service themselves so they are not really all that different.  Bethenny tried explaining that production were the ones that wanted to film.  The problem lay that the cameras focused on Bethenny, not Ramona.   She kept saying that Bethenny was an opportunist and that it shouldn’t have happened when Andy jumped in and laid the smackdown.  He told Ramona that he was the one that wanted the cameras there and he asked Bethenny to film.   Sounds like the little blonde ageless demon is jealous.  This allowed Andy to ask Bethenny the status of her and Jill.  She explained they haven’t talked but rather have texted (fair, I never talk on the phone any more unless it is work) but Carole not so subtly stated under her breathe that, of course, Bethenny hasn’t seen Jill, there are no cameras.  I don’t know, how do you just repair a friendship that was broken for years in a moment?  Maybe I’m naive but it would seem more disingenuine for Bethenny to say they are fine now.  She did take her daughter to see Jill when she was sitting Shiva and again, there were no cameras there so I would like to think this is a normal trepidacious reconciliation.

Speaking of Bethenny’s daughter, we have learned this week that Jason Hoppy is back in court and asking for custody of Bryn.  We can all agree that he is the worst but the reason he is back in court is in light of Dennis’s passing. What did you ask?  Well, I was listening to ‘Fame is a Bitch’ podcast and AJ Benza dug in and shed some light in a way that I have never thought about (mainly because I’m not a pill popper).  Bethenny has stated in an interview that it ‘snows more in NYC than any other franchise’ which is pretty dumb to state because you are pretty much admitting you are all coke heads on the record but that isn’t what happened.  If you recall Dennis had overdosed on Oxy and had asked his maid to get Narcan kit to help stop the overdose.  What AJ shed light on is that in his experience with addicts is that their prescriptions are never enough.  In their ever ending quest for more, they start to enlist the help of others.  So they will request friends and acquaintances to acquire prescriptions in their name and give them the pills.   There were empty bottles found all over Dennis’s apartment and AJ had a hunch there were prescriptions in Bethenny’s name in his apartment.  My point?  Jason is going to use this as a case of bad judgment in Bethenny’s part and why she shouldn’t be Bryn’s primary caregiver.  Basically, he’s an ass if you didn’t already think so.

It is true that investigators have been to Bethenny’s and another thing that is true is that Bethenny hasn’t committed to filming season 11.  I read an article that states Bethenny’s contract is the most complex & so it is completed last and it is normal for her to agree right before filming but never holding up filming. Lastly, she is mourning the death of Dennis so they are trying to give her some space.  I am not bringing any of this up as fact.  Just giving you something to ponder.  I honestly thought this recap was going to be short. That I would say they looked beautiful but were a bit screechy but hey, I sometimes don’t know what I’m going to write until I start typing.  I promise I will have a short recap next week.  So til then… Find me on Twitter!


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