The True Life Story of Vicky Gunvalson
We are back in RHOC and if last week was any indication, all of these recaps will be short & sweet because there is not much happening on the west coast. I guess it is good that there isn’t any manufactured drama but at the same time, I want to be invested in these women’s lives. I will always be interested in Vicky. She is the one true OG as she has literally been there since day 1. However, I hate to say it, but maybe Tamra’s time is done. Discuss.
This week we were gifted with the taglines. I will say that most of them are not bad. Even the new girl, Emily had a good one and then Gina came on the screen and killed any hard on I had. I haven’t been introduced to her yet but I already hate her.
I wrote this episode while I was watching the show. This inevitably bites me in the ass. Live blogging works when there is nothing really to discuss and I am merely recapping what they did from point A to point B. However, the OC upped their game and left the show on a high note. Not so much for Kelly but for the viewer, we are reeling.
In order for me to focus on the topics that I would really like to discuss, I will blog this in 2 parts where the first part is merely a recap of what’s what.
1: We learn that Eddie’s surgery didn’t turn out as they had hoped. This is sad but due to the amount of botox Tamra has had injected in her face, we will never truly know how she feels.
2: Shannon is going on a Mexican vacation with her daughters paid for by David. Why? Your guess is as good as mine. We literally have no idea why this came about but while away, Shannon face timed Tamra (while in a car wash mind you because you know… shenanigans) and requested that both her and Vicky come down south for a Girls Weekend.
3: We get the obligatory introduction of Emily to Kelly. This is way more natural then some of the other forced introductions we have seen on this show. Emily is fascinating to me in an I can’t look away manner so I will be coming back to her.
4: We work out at CUT Fitness where we are also introduced to Gina. Now that I have seen her, I still hate her. It isn’t personal but it is like the longer the OC is on the air, the dumber the housewives become. We spent some time in her home seeing her chaotic home life. She is someone else I want to discuss.
I am going to start with Gina because it will be quick. We met her as she attended a work out class at CUT fitness along with Emily and Kelly. First of all, she is from Long Island so guess what? She talks funny! Hence her annoying tagline. Anyways, I learned last week that Gina’s marriage has since filming, bit the dust. That she and her husband have already filed for divorce. This is where we learn why.
Gina has a transplant husband. Transplant in that she stays home with the 3 kids in the OC and he is away from the home Monday to Friday up in Northern LA . Why they are differentiating that it is “Northern” LA is beyond me. I have never heard it described that way. I kept anticipating that they would say he works in Northern California. However, to my knowledge isn’t LA within driving distance to Orange County. Granted it wouldn’t be something you would want to commute but still not that far? I mean, I had a friend that had to go to Toronto every Tuesday from Vancouver. When you are paid enough, there are things that you just do. (btw.. that is like Flying from LA to New York for those that think that the 2 cities are a mere drive).
The ladies are just as baffled as I am and inquire why she wouldn’t just move with him. She stammers and tries to explain that it is too complicated to move because of children and yes, she has 3 and we see later in the show how crazy they can be. She also lets it be known that she not only isn’t sure what he does for work but has no idea what he does when he is up there.
Sounds like this wasn’t as much of an arrangement as it was a separation. She probably was afraid the show wouldn’t take her if they were broken up so made it sounds like he was commuting. I guess I will have to watch the season to truly find out. We do get the obligatory home visit to introduce her lifestyle and children to us but there is nothing exciting. Her kids are super cute and look like massive handfuls but unlike Beverly Hills we are not inundated with a nanny after nanny and housekeeper after housekeeper. I think that is one of the main reasons I like the OC.
I hate Gina’s tag line but she already appears to be a natural fit on the show. Emily doesn’t. She is quite stiff and tells people she is an attorney like a comic telling a joke. She literally always pauses for dramatic effect right after as though her job is the most impressive thing we heard that day. Not to brag but I am literally good friends with 4 female lawyers with multiple kids who work full time. One owns her practice, the others are partners. It happens. It isn’t such an anomaly. However, none of them married their boss and seeing Emily at the gym in the middle of the day makes me wonder how much she really does work.
After 2 episodes, I’m barely interested. I’m mainly interested because she is so stiff and awkward that I am kind of waiting for her to cry. On the other hand, I’m watching because she is so clearly out of place. She celebrated her 9th anniversary with her husband and dressed up in what I can only assume is a prom dress while her husband and everyone else in the restaurant wore jeans. He clearly is tolerating this filming while she is trying to so hard show us a perfect life. I fear for her happiness as during dinner she tried so hard to get a kiss from her husband but he recoiled from her lipstick and we were left with a deadpan expression of despair on her face. Well, there is that and the fact that the father of 5 doesn’t want any more children despite how hard she begs.
What took the bulk of the show is our OG housewife, Vicky. Yes, Vicky is delighted that she is mending fences with Tamra but until she makes up with Eddie, that friendship hangs by a thread. So Vicky consults with Steve, her blowup boyfriend, and she consults with Kelly. Steve assures Vicky that they will accept her apology mainly because Steve is the man Vicky always wanted: one with no personality and does whatever she wants. She even proudly commented in the confessional that she feels like the man of the house. While I commend Vicky’s dedication to her career and feminist outlook, I think we all knew that all she wanted was a man who did whatever she wished rather than a partner.
Vicky also consulted with her interim bestie, Kelly. As Kelly put it, she has had to apologize a million times but she is always forgiven. While Kelly may be a bit delusional she is correct in that most people will forgive. So Vicky dressed in her best Yeti outfit to call up Tamra. It just so happens that Tamra and Eddie just sat down for dinner. So Vicky requests 20 minutes of their time and Tamra complied. Eddie balks at this idea but stays put nonetheless for the show that was about to happen. You see, Vicky doesn’t apologize like anyone else. You know, admit fault, take responsibility and then apologize? Yes, she doesn’t do this. Vicky comes in shaking and sweating, drops everything in her path and then recites random quotes from the bible that aren’t quite quotes but more like sputtering some words followed by some citations. Eddie, amused at this situation, asks Vicky how all of this began. Vicky stammers that she only acted the way she did because both he and Tamra had turned on her. You see, it isn’t her fault, they made her act that way. Isn’t that also the wife beater’s mantra? You know “don’t make me hurt you” .. Yes, just like that.
Anyways, when Eddie was tired of watching the Vicky show, he finally states, with a straight face mind you, that yes, he forgives her but it is a long road for him to trust her again. Vicky, elated, excuses herself from the table and we are done with the embarrassingly staged display. I say staged because how convenient was it that Tamra and Eddie were at dinner and how convenient was it that there just happened to be cameras there. Lastly, how convenient was it that Vicky was dressed up in her Yeti coat and managed to get the 2 of them on the phone? yes, that staged.
I’m over the whole Vicky vs Tamra storyline. Rather, I’m over wives who are arguing with other women’s husbands. I don’t care. This is real housewives, not husbands and as nice as Eddie is, I don’t want to hear his opinion. Period.
Just when I was about to groan and think this is where the show was ending, we end on a high note. Vicky called Kelly as soon as she was finished apologizing. Kelly invited her over and wouldn’t you know it, the LITERAL moment that Vicky mends her relationship with Tamra, her friendship with Kelly blows up and in a spectacular way.
As soon as Vicky sits down, Kelly dives in. She heard a rumour that Vicky set Kelly’s ex, Micheal, up with one of her friends. She wants to know if this is true. Vicky, without missing a beat, denies this fact. Rather, what happened was a few months back, she hosted a BBQ that Michael attended and at that BBQ, he met a woman who will remain nameless.
NOW… if that was all that happened, then I agree with Vicky, she would have no culpability. If someone is going to remain friends with both persons from a couple, then there are some things that you need to keep to yourself. What are you supposed to do? Run between people and let the other know about every person they flirt with? No, this isn’t high school. However, there does come a time where you need to say something to maintain that same integrity and that happens with you go on double dates with your friend’s ex and that is what happened.
As Vicky continued, she explains, Michael met a woman, they hit it off and sometimes both her and Steve go on double dates with them. As in, it happened multiple times. Vicky contends that it isn’t her place to tell Kelly this happened. Fair point, Michael should tell Kelly he is dating BUT……. Vicky is hanging out with Micheal on double dates. It is … weird.
It is weird because at least for the show, Vicky plays like Kelly is such a good friend and well, good friends don’t blur worlds unwittingly like that. Kelly states she doesn’t roll with women who do this. Vicky blinks and yells that she doesn’t hang out with people that say ‘roll’. Good one Vicky. Can you just spit at Kelly while you kick her when she is down too? So Vicky is now also yelling and does escalate to her screech that we are all familiar with. She doubles down that she does not feel guilty about this and that she did nothing wrong. Kelly, who finally legitimately has a reason to be angry, asks Vicky to leave and storms off to her room. I would have scratched out Vicky’s eyes but hey, I haven’t been to anger management.
The show ends with Vicky trying to descend Kelly’s sad little staircase, careful not to get her Yeti coat caught on the railing. Next week, we see some of the fall out from the fight and I am in! So til then.. find me on Twitter!
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