Real Housewives of OC

Theeeeeeyyyy’re Baaaaaack!

We are back to where it all started in the OC and we even have the original of originals, Vicky Gunvalson.  However as excited, I was about the premiere of the show, I didn’t race to recap this episode and this may be because I found it… underwhelming?

All reviews and twitter I have read have nothing but praise for the ladies but I have been rolling my eyes and yelling at the TV.  People always request a cast shake-up when things aren’t working and we got that.  We got rid of Peggy and Lydia which I am eternally grateful for as I couldn’t stand listening to their ignorance and I loathe that Lydia is Canadian giving us all a bad name.  However, there is still something missing.

I watch RHONY with baited breathe.  I can’t get enough of it.  We are planning on going to NYC for our honeymoon and you can believe that I will try to have drinks at the Regency to see if Tom will hit on me. I’m invested in those ladies including Tinsley who brings massive rage in me.  I find myself not caring about the OC any longer and let me tell you why.  Nothing is new or fresh.

Vicky is trying to get married
Shannon resents David
Kelly is nuts
Tamra owns cut fitness & is married to Eddie

and then there are 2 new women where we have still to meet one of the ladies.  They have in fact even said in an interview that there isn’t as much drama this year as there is comedy.  Except I found Shannon yelling at Kelly very amusing.

Anyways, the taglines were not unveiled this week which I am guessing is because we still have 1 housewife to meet.  I just realized and I have done this more than once, that Meghan has also exited the OC.  I have not thought about that woman since the reunion nor did I miss her during the premiere.  I have totally forgotten about her .  It is a shame since she was the driving force behind exposing Brooks.

I do like the ladies but they are not giving me big reactions.  Big reactions make me care and when I care, I get invested so let’s see what happened this episode to see where maybe it fell apart.

We start the show off watching Tamra move into a new house that is still not finished due to Eddie having upcoming heart surgery.  They cut this scene up with Vicky.  No, she is not visiting, they split it up with catching up with Vicky having dinner with her boyfriend.  I do not remember his name.  Why?  because he is boring.  He is probably a lovely man but he is thrust into the reality spotlight and not everyone is meant for TV.  To his benefit, he should be relegated to parties where he serves more as an accessory.  It would benefit their relationship in the long run.  In confessionals, Vicky lets us know she wants to remarry.  Yes, we know Vicky.  You are a marriage lady and a love tank.  Perhaps it is the way she talks that I find particularly annoying.  However, anyone who has been watching this show for some time, should not be that surprised that Vicky is hot for commitment.  She would have married Brooks if he wasn’t a massive loser.  Speaking of which, we learn Brooks was about to remarry.  Really?  Has she lived under a rock?  Did he con her too or was she always there and he was only conning Vicky?  Seeing as how obsessed with the housewives I am, I can not fathom people who do not know these women.

As mentioned, Tamra moved into a new house. She said it isn’t a big deal… only 4000 sq feet. I guess for OC standards, that isn’t that big of a house.  I would love that much space (that is, until I’d have to clean it), and the backyard is… ah-maaaayzing!  I will watch the show in the very least to oogle her home.  Her mother is there & I really appreciate their relationship. I lost my mother at 18, so I never got a chance to become friends with her as we never outgrew the mother/daughter phase.  Anyways, Tamra is very worried about Eddie and we see her try to cry through her botox.  I’m not judging as I recently completed a website for a Botox clinic & I plan on going there soon. However, whenever Tamra cries, I never buy it.  I do picture her being a cutting bitch & I love Tamra best that way.  She is stressed that Eddie is 45 and undergoing surgery for his hear.  He is frustrated that he isn’t living life at top speed and I fear that he never will again.  I wouldn’t fear the surgery as much as the lifestyle change and how it could impact your future relationship.  Hope all is well with them.

Tamra has a quick call with Shannon which is how we learned the square footage of her home.  Actually, I never was able to catch it despite rewinding 3 times.  I asked twitter & someone informed me.  This was the segway to Shannon’s new single life.  She too lives in a 4000 square foot house.  This is depressing for her as just a few short years ago, she was in a 14,000 square foot house. If it was me, I’d rather have a smaller home and peace then a large home and anxiety.  There is too much space for one to rattle around with their demons.  Funny though how Shannon’s new ‘small’ home is a lot nicer than the one the entire family rented.  She is in the throws of divorce .  David has a new girlfriend.. gasp!  Why is anyone shocked? He didn’t wait for their marriage to be over before he started sleeping around, why wouldn’t he have a new younger girlfriend?  My only question is who would find him attractive?  I never thought he had a personality. He seemed kind of always bewildered. Clearly, she is sleeping with him for the money.  Course, she is not factoring 3 willful teenage girls into the scenario.  We do get a season of Shannon beginning to date. She did mention her weight a few times on the show.  I didn’t feel the need to impale myself when that occurred as it only made sense one’s shape is on the brain when venturing out into the dating world.

What Shannon is doing that she has been moaning about for the last few years is that David is the reason for the situation she is in.  They were fighting & distant.  David was cheating.  He ruined her trust.  Then they were great and she was happy. Then David was distant again and therefore ate her feelings and became fat.  Shannon needs to claim HER life.  She needs to realize that she has a say in her life and needs to stop letting life happen to her.

If Shannon is depressed and anxious about her new life on one end, we have Kelly on the other.  She too has massively downsized. She is living in a little condo that looks a little dated (based on the cabinets in the kitchen) but Kelly is LOVING her independence and dating.  She claims that she isn’t dating but you know she is blowing up Tinder.  She is hot and knows it.  She even said that dating is like throwing dynamite into the ocean and scooping up the fish.  She will be a great folly to Shannon.

Vicky, Kelly and Kelly’s daughter go out for dinner.  I’m assuming it was Kelly’s night with her daughter and didn’t have a sitter.  They throw an iphone in her lap and catch up on dating when her daughter looks up and informs Vicky that her mother is fielding quite a number of men.  Vicky does think that Kelly over shares with her daughter.  However, Kelly was never the brightest star in the sky as we witnessed when she tried to help her daughter with her math homework.   At dinner, Kelly suggests that she, Vicky, Tamra and Shannon do a group building exercise seeing as they are all working on becoming strong friends again.  Oh good, forced social engagements.

Prior to this endeavour, Tamra pops out for a walk with an old friend aka: the new housewife, Gina.  On the walk, we learn these ladies were once friends but seeing as Gina is good friends with Gretchen, Tamra pulled away when everything blew up between Tamra and Gretchen.  Seeing as Gina is now on the show, Tamra is reaching out and working on their friendship.  I would bet $1000 that Tamra does not talk to Gina when the cameras are not rolling. Anyways, after the walk, we do the obligatory introduction.  We learn she is an attorney by day and an event planner at night?  I still don’t understand if she actually plans events or she just puts on good parties for her friends. She met her now husband at work and they were just good friends when one day he just suggested they get married, she said, “why not?” and they eloped a few days later.

I haven’t unpacked that yet so will reserve comment.

They have 3 children with one set of twins. They are falling into the first season trap where couples film together, try to be funny but are falling flat and come across cold rather than having a strong relationship.  We only get a snippet of him and you better believe EVERYONE is judging him, sizing him up and trying to decide if he is good enough for Gina.  The best thing the ladies of RHOD did in the second season was limit the screen time of their husbands thereby keeping their relationship a little more private.

It will be interesting to see how she pans out through the rest of the season.  Right now, she comes off as average (average real housewife that is).  Next week, we meet the last new housewife, Emily.  Since the filming of this show, she has separated from her husband so not sure if this season will show them imploding or it will come as a massive shock.  I do recall Jules from RHONY getting divorced after the first season.  There were hints like her eating disorder and him showering the moment he returned home (fresh off cheating on his wife no doubt).  Because of that turmoil, Jules was a one season wonder.  We will have to wait and see what Emily brings to the table.

We end the episode with a ropes course for the 4 returning ladies.  I think this is where they lost me.  I don’t care about these things. I am tired of watching the housewives work out, compete in fitness events and now the team building.  I tolerated Jersey doing these things mainly because it resulted in the 2 Joe’s tackling each other.  This ropes course is kind of nuts.  They have to climb up, climb across, pull up and then finally zip line home. Tamra and Shanon were first. Tamra zipped off and Shannon cried her way through it. Joe was sitting with me at this point in the show and I commented that I too would probably be bawling my eyes out.  He concurred as I have an intense fear of heights.  The ladies are harnessed in but I think my upper body strength mirrors Shannon and I wonder if I would be able to climb up.  Next up Vicky & Kelly make their way through.  They are all being supportive and are all helping one another out.  They are staggard throughout the course and are on different levels which is why Shannon stepped on or locked in with her harness, Vicky’s finger (Vicky later revealed on Twitter that Shannon broke her finger).  The only thing that I noticed in these scenes is that they seemed insincere.  They are there for screen time not their friendship.

I also noticed that these are four of the most shrieky ladies in the entire Housewife Universe.  Between Atlanta, New York, Dallas, Beverly Hills, Potamac and the OC (did I forget anyone?) no other housewife shrieks as much as these four.  Tamra doesn’t shriek as much as she yells to be heard over the screams.

Watching them zip line was also hysterical.  Tamra had no problem as she was in her element.  Shannon however, was paralyzed by fear and rather than launch off, she kind of rolled down like she had weights attached to her legs.  Seriously, it looked like someone was trying to sink a dead body.  Kelly was fine but Vicky bounced down the line for some reason.

I hope they bring in the taglines next week.  I do hope we see them do more than work on their friendships. Until then… find me on Twitter!

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